Grief & Gratitude: These Two Things Can Be True at the Same Time
My church of 20+ years invited the congregation to participate in a corporate fast, the focus of which was gratitude. As a congregation we wanted to intentionally recall and give thanks to God for all He’s done and for all He will do in our lives. Although I admittedly do not enjoy the physical part of fasting—as soon as my body knows I’m not going to feed it, hunger seems to go into overdrive—the increased connection I experience with God makes the physical discomfort worth it.
As I fast, I am more aware of the Lord’s presence in such a sweet way: I hear His voice more clearly and sense His leading more easily.
One morning during my gratitude fast, as I asked the Lord to share what was on His heart, I was unexpectedly overcome by a sense of sadness to the point of tears. These feelings surprised and confused me. “Oh no,” I said, “Lord, are You sad? Have I done something to make You sad?”
WHEN GOD SHINES HIS LIGHT ON YOU
As I sat there weeping, the Lord revealed to me that the sadness I was feeling was my own. There was a suppressed sadness I carried around that He wanted me to acknowledge and release to Him. So, in tears, I owned the truth of the sadness as the Lord revealed to me that the repeated hardships in my special needs journey had trained my heart to be always anticipating the next shoe to drop—the next crisis.
I admitted to the Lord that, despite His demonstrated faithfulness and goodness in my life, I did sometimes wrestle with those troublesome thoughts.
It wasn’t that I was ungrateful for all He’d done, and I trusted He’d be with us no matter what, but the sadness was real. (Friend, can you relate to any of this?) I’d suppressed the sadness so I could keep moving forward—doing the things I needed to do—but God was now shining His light on it.
He was inviting me to lament.
WHAT HE REMINDED ME ABOUT LAMENT
Lament gives us permission to bring the full weight of our emotions to God, trusting that He’s not intimidated or angered by our honesty. It isn’t the absence of faith, it’s the honest expression of our faith in pain. It’s realizing that two things can be true at the same time: I can be grateful AND I can be sad; God can be good AND I can be grieving; my heart can be aching AND I can have joy. It can sound like frustration and faith in the same breath: “God, I’m hurting/afraid/disappointed, yet I know Your faithfulness.”
Lamenting with God enables us to process pain without letting the pain define us. It’s how we stay close to the One who knows and can heal our hurting hearts.
That morning, as I sought God to know what was on His heart, He let me know that He was thinking about me. Reminding me that He knew everything I was feeling and He was inviting me to bring it to Him.
During my gratitude fast, God reminded me of one more thing to be grateful for—a Savior who wants to share our pains; One who understands and can heal them.
ENOUGH ABOUT ME. WHAT ABOUT YOU?
So, I wonder, my friend, what suppressed sadness, pain, or disappointment might you be carrying as you go about your days? Sometimes the extra weight can feel so normal that we forget we’re carrying it; and, as a result, we end up settling for less than God’s promised peace.
Would you be willing to ask the Lord to shine His light on those places? To bring them into the open? To process them with Him? To let Him heal the hurts or carry the pain?
He already knows they’re there, so why not invite Him in.
WHAT DOES GOD SAY?
In the meantime, for those circumstances in your life that have been stealing your peace, here’s some truth to help realign your heart and mind to God’s promises. There’s power in speaking God’s Word, so I hope you’ll allow yourself to be strengthened by the peace of God as you speak these truths over yourself:
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [healing their pain and comforting their sorrow].” —Psalms 147:3 AMP
“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” —Matthew 11:28 NLT
“Peace I leave with you; My [perfect] peace I give you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid. [Let My perfect peace calm you in every circumstance and give you courage and strength for every challenge.]” —John 14:27 AMP
“Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares for you.” —1 Peter 5:7 NLT
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” —Matthew 6:34 NLT