I was sitting on the side of my bed in tears. My husband had just left in an ambulance with my son who was struggling to breathe because of a seizure. Though he’d been seizure-free for years, my son had recently begun having increasingly worse epileptic episodes. The seizures had returned with a vengeance—worse than they’d ever been, far more unpredictable and dangerous. And we couldn’t get them under control.
As I wept, I kept asking God why He was allowing my son to suffer again. Why this? Why now? Why???
God didn’t answer my “why” questions.
In fact, He’s never provided an explanation when I’ve asked Him “why.”
WHY EVEN ASK “WHY?”
I used to think that understanding why God had allowed such hard things to happen to my son (or other people I loved) would help make it easier to agree with God’s decision to do so.
Or, that understanding “why” might somehow lessen the pain of seeing them suffer.
But after so many years of not receiving any explanation from God, I finally acknowledged that there was likely none He could give me that would lessen the pain.
I doubted there was an explanation that would make it easier for me to agree with His decision to allow my son to contract a debilitating, disabling illness.
So why even ask “why?”
Even if I knew, I would probably have still requested that God find another way to accomplish His purposes, whatever they were. A way that wouldn’t include allowing my son to suffer so greatly and for so long.
I feel much more comfortable making that admission when I consider Jesus’ internal struggle on His way to the cross. As the third person of the Godhead, Jesus knew exactly why it was necessary that He be crucified. Yet, when the time came—when He was confronted with the impending pain—He asked the Father if there was another way. A way that wouldn’t require Him to have to undergo such suffering.
Jesus understands our pain.
He also understands what it means to move forward in spite of the pain.
GOD ANSWERS A DIFFERENT, MORE IMPORTANT QUESTION
In the book of Judges we meet a guy named Gideon. He, his family, and the rest of the Israelites have been oppressed by the Midianites for a long time. Because of the oppression, we find Gideon hiding in a winepress, threshing wheat, when the angel of the LORD appears to him and says:
“‘The LORD is with you, mighty warrior.’
‘Pardon me, my lord,’ Gideon replied, ‘but if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us?’” (Judges 6:12-13 NIV)
Like me (and maybe you), Gideon wanted to know why God had allowed the Israelites to suffer so greatly. Also like me (and maybe you), Gideon received no explanation from the LORD.
But look at what God does say:
“The LORD turned to him [Gideon] and said, ‘Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?’” (Judges 6:14)
God did not answer Gideon’s “why” question. Instead, He told Gideon what to do next.
In the story I shared earlier about myself, the Lord gave me a similar response. Rather than answer my “why” questions, He told me what to do next. He told me I needed to praise Him. Every time I repeated my “why” question, He responded again with what I needed to do next—praise Him.
I believe God’s response to Gideon and to me—His redirection from “why” to “what’s next”—points to two important principles of faith:
God wants us to learn to trust Him even when when we don’t understand or agree with His ways. Nowhere in Scripture is God called the God of Explanations. He has a lot of names; that’s not one of them.
God is committed to and intentional about helping us become all He created us to be AND moving us forward in the plans He has for us. He uses our life circumstances—both desirable and difficult—to accomplish both.
Look at Gideon as an example:
In the midst of Gideon’s hardship and hiding, God calls him a mighty warrior (the person God was calling him to become). Then, rather than giving Gideon an explanation for his suffering, God gives him an assignment.
God understood that knowing “why” wouldn’t change Gideon or his circumstances, nor would it help him move forward in the plan God had for his life. But knowing what to do next would.
Might the same be true for you and me?
LORD, WHAT’S NEXT?
So, the next time our circumstances tempt us to ask God “why,” might we consider that there’s a better question? A question that shows our trust in God and invites His movement in our circumstances. A question that demonstrates our desire to move forward with His plan.
Instead of “why,” perhaps we can ask “what’s next.”
What’s next for my child? Me? My family?
I’m not saying we should pretend we’re not hurting or disappointed or confused. Nor am I saying that we can’t go to God with our questions and doubts. He wants to hear from us about everything that concerns us. What I am saying is that God’s goodness, faithfulness, and unrelenting love for us never change, even in the worst of circumstances or when He doesn’t provide an explanation.
He’s still trustworthy, so we can choose to entrust the “why” to Him as we seek Him for what’s next.
This one—trusting God completely with the “why”—may take a little practice.
I’m glad we’re doing it together.